Tuesday, September 11, 2012

RC#68: The public bad

published in Eastern Economist #464, December 26, 2002
I’ve been thinking lately that the capitalists in this country are anything but reluctant. They’re as aggressive and monopolistic as Microsoft. It’s the guys that are supposed to defend the public good that are reluctant. The lawmakers, the prosecutors, the police. I may even have to change the name of this column. Here’s something passed along to me by a Canadian friend in Kyiv:
            “Last weekend, I had planned to spend a day in L’viv, but I never got on the train. I wasn’t going there for the happiest of reasons. It was the eighth anniversary of the death of a very good friend.
            “Each year, a group of us visit Orest’s grave so as not to forget what he meant to each of us. And each year, fewer and fewer of us show up. This time, I was one of the drop-outs.
            “Since Sept. 16, 2000, when Georgiy Gongadze disappeared, and even more recently, when the body of Mykhailo Kolomiets was found in Belarus, one question continues to nag me. What exactly is the role of public prosecutors in Ukraine? Do they ever actually solve any serious crimes? When it comes to suspicious deaths, my experience in Ukraine says ‘No, they don’t.’
            “When I met him on my first trip to Ukraine in 1990, Orest was a student leader. Head of World Ukrainian Student Organization, he also ran the Studentske Bratstvo, a fraternity in L’viv. A charasmatic and honest man who was always ready to help the next guy, Orest was that most rare of creatures among soviet citizens, a straight shooter.
            “We immediately took to each other and he joined me on my first pilgrimage to my father’s village. There, we spent a few evenings seated outside my aunt’s house, singing sentimental songs about Ukraine. My aunt and cousin listened with tears in their eyes.
            “Only a couple of years earlier, such a ‘display of nationalism’ could have led to Orest’s prompt arrest and my immediate whisking away to the nearest airport by an Intourist ‘guide.’
            “Our friendship grew over four years.
            “Then one evening in mid-December 1994, back in Montreal, I came home to find my answering machine blinking furiously. There was an unusual number of messages. I listened to the first one. ‘Hi, this is Slavko from Cleveland. I’m calling to find out about the situation with Orest?’ The caller hadn’t left his number, and I couldn’t recall a Slavko from Cleveland.
            “The rest of the messages were similar. One after another, they asked about Orest. They came from all over North America and there were several more whom I didn’t know.
            “What was going on? I quickly made some calls of my own and tried to get back to some of those who had called me. No luck.
            “Before giving up, I decided to try one more number. I dialed an NGO in Kyiv that Orest had been affliated with. The tense voice of a young woman answer at the other end of the line. After I explained who I was and why I was calling, there was a long pause. With a tremble in her voice, she finally said, 'Orest is dead.'
            “I was stunned. I had spoken to him only four days earlier. ‘How? What happened?’
            “‘It seems he was poisoned,’ the young woman replied. ‘The prosecutor’s office hasn’t stated any clear cause of death, but they’re not considering foul play.’
            “I felt icy shock and my heart began to race. A week earlier, a former professor and a long-time friend had died of heart failure. But this was different. Orest was 28. A young, vital, healthy person. My best friend in Ukraine was dead, for no apparent reason. And there wasn’t a thing I could do.
            “Mutual friends later reported that the official story was he died of alcohol poisoning. Yet, his widow insisted that when Orest had arrived home the last night, he was totally sober. Not only that, she told me, he had had over US $400 in his breast pocket and it was still there when he came home. She thought someone must have slipped something into Orest’s drink, because he was in a great deal of pain.
            “At the time I tried to keep track of the futile investigation thousands of kilometers away, in L’viv. Like everyone else who knew Orest, I wanted concrete answers. But officials either suggested he had drunk himself to death or that he had had an enlarged heart. (Prosecutors in Ukraine love that one.)
            “Curiously, at the time of his death Orest was also responsible for the Ukrainian branch of an American humanitarian aid society that provided medical supplies for orphanages and hospitals in Western Ukraine. There were rumors at the time that some local racketeers wanted in on the supplies he was getting. The idea was that he would pilfer some, they could sell it on the black market, and he would get a cut.
            “It wasn’t exactly an original set-up. Many aid organizations found themselves in the same situation. Many succumbed to the temptation – or the threat. But Orest would never have agreed to such an arrangement.
            “Whatever had really happened, none of us would ever know. The years passed. Together with Orest’s other friends and his family, I came to accept that he was dead. His widow eventually remarried. To this day, we keep in touch, as do many of the others I met through Orest.
            “I see some of these friends more than others. Some are journalists, some are lawyers, a few are even politicians. We’re always analysing the state of the country. And when somebody suddenly dies, we just look at each other as if to say, 'There’s another Orest. We’ll never know the truth about that one!'
            “But you know what? It shouldn’t be that way.” •
–thanks to Liubko M.

RC#67: Reluctant lawmakers

published in Eastern Economist #463, December 19, 2002

On Nov. 28, the Verkhovna Rada surprised everybody by refusing to replace the current very competent governor of the National Bank of Ukraine by a deputy who is also the head of a commercial banking group. Mr. Tihipko originally ran Dnipropetrovsk-based PrivatBank. Last year, he set up a new group called TAS (the initials supposedly stand for Tihipko Anna Serhiyivna, his 16-year old daughter). They bought out Société Générale’s investment branch in Kyiv when the French packed it in.
            The conflict of interest issue has had everyone on their ear. Even the IMF and the World Bank have had their say about Mr. Kuchma’s candidate.
            This is a partial transcription of what took place in the Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine on Dec. 12, thanks to my trusty dictaphone. The matter of dismissing Mr. Stelmakh was brought up a second time at the request of President Kuchma. The session started out normally enough.
10:01
Speaker Lytvyn: Good morning, honorable deputies, guests and visitors to the VR… 429 deputies have registered. I hereby declare this session open… Mr. Ostash please.
Deputy Ostash: My fellow deputies, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that we are in violation of our own procedures here today. Bills and resolutions rejected by the VR or those that essentially repeat bills that have been rejected, cannot be entered into the agenda during the same sitting of the legislature. According to this rule, we cannot today examine the question of removing the governor of the National Bank of Ukraine. We therefore request that this item be struck from the agenda.
Lytvyn: Thank you.
Deputy Matvienko: Mr. Speaker and Mr. Premier, I have a question to both of you. Could you please explain what is happening here? We’re violating VR regulations. No new circumstances have appeared, yet we have the dismissal of Mr. Stelmakh on our agenda again. The VR has already made its position clear regarding the president’s request.
Lytvyn: I can answer your question right now, Mr. Matvienko. We’re not in violation.
Noise errupts in the hall.
Deputy Lutsenko: My honorable deputies and the not-so-honorable Presidium. I would like to move that we give the podium to Deputy Sas.
Lyvtyn: Mr. Sas, please take the podium.
More noise in the hall.
Lytvyn: Please step forward. Deputy Sas from the VR procedures committee.
Deputy Sas: Thank you, Mr. Speaker… (goes on to explain the procedural details) … The second appeal of the President can’t be considered during the current VR session, according to VR rules.
Lytvyn: Thank you. Please finish. My fellow deputies, please take your places. Please. The procedures committee has made its position clear. Let’s move along, please. What else is needed? My fellow deputies, please take your places. Are we going to have to toss someone out?
More noise in the hall.
Lytvyn: Please, my fellow deputies. There are two draft resolutions regarding this issue–
More noise in the hall.
Lytvyn: Are you going to let me talk or not? I repeat. There are two – come on, now. I will make an announcement and then you can talk. Will you please quiet down or not? There’s a draft resolution put forward by Deputies Yushchenko, Moroz and Tymoshenko, about the unacceptability of this resolution. We will put this first one to a vote, about the unacceptability of the second resolution according to VR regulations, correct? And then we will put the other resolution to the vote, if necessary.
More noise in the hall.
Lytvyn: My fellow deputies, I declare this session adjourned until 10:45.
10:46
Lytvyn: My fellow deputies, let’s agree to one thing. I just met with the heads of all the factions. We agreed that first we will all take our places and then–
Noise errupts in the hall.
Lytvyn: Hold on a minute, my fellow colleagues, this won’t do! Please listen! If it’s necessary, I will tell you when to come to the podium. Please, take your seats and then you can come up one by one. We discussed the matter and came to – my fellow deputies – we came to the conclusion that–
More noise in the hall.
Lytvyn: My fellow deputies, the question is not so much a procedural one since it has taken on political overtones. As Mr. Yushchenko rightly said, there is a conflict of interests. So that there isn’t any further conflict of interests among us, and so that we can work in a civilized manner, I ask you to please take your seats. Mr. Stelmakh would like the right to speak and explain his position.
More noise in the hall.
Lytvyn: My fellow deputies, please! We agreed, if you – my fellow deputies – if you’re not prepared to listen – if you’re not prepared to listen to what the leaders of your factions –  We agreed that you would all take your seats. I’m asking you once more. My fellow deputies, I told you what happened during the last recess. Now we have a motion that we can’t really turn down. There’s a motion that we adjourn in order to consult with the NDP faction and the Industrialists. This session is hereby adjourned until 11:40.
11:41.
Lytvyn: My fellow deputies, during the last recess, we tried to – please, I ask you, what are you doing here? Are you going to knock me over? I’m state property… We had a constructive discussion but neither side was willing to change their position. Mr. Stelmakh tendered his resignation and this is what it says:
            “Please accept my resignation from the position of Governor of the NBU –”
Noise errupts in the hall.
Lytvyn: Hold on, I’m still reading – come on, folks, what’s going on here? His letter is being reviewed now, so I think this question has to be postponed. Now, so you all can calm down, I move that we all start working properly at 12:30. After that, I would appreciate if everyone put their minds to working seriously, productively and quickly. We have an entire list of documents to review. Are there any objections to this motion? I announce this session adjourned until 12:30… (etc etc, ad nauseam)

            There were two more adjournment and in the end, all that happened was a few microphones were broken, a few noses were out of joint, and Mr. Stelmakh kept his job. Makes you wonder why anyone would pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to be elected to such a thankless post… •

RC#66: A democratic birthday party

published in Eastern Economist #461, December 5, 2002

I was pretty busy Friday night, thinking that I’d go off to Baraban as usual to frolic with friends. But about 20 to seven, Ilko called me at work and said, “Be there or be square, bud. We have a party tonight!”
            I’d completely forgotten Democratic Initiatives was celebrating their 10th anniversary. Enough time has gone by for quite a few people and organizations to be turning 10 in Ukraine, I thought. And these guys have some serious milestones to their credit.
            Like the first exit poll at an election in Ukraine. That was during the last election to the Verkhovna Rada, back in 1998. There’ve been two more elections since then, and DI’s been busy little bees. (The only national elections before that were four years earlier, when the technology and legislation weren’t in place to handle exit polls.)
            I got to the Hotel Kyiv just as things were really getting into swing. A band was playing, flowers everywhere, and a couple of hundred people scarfing food. I heard someone complain that they felt underdressed. Looking at my own fairly tired sweater and wrinkled trousers, I shrugged. If they’re underdressed, I’m Joe Hobo, I thought. Do I care?
            A happy Ilko was already making his speech.
            “I never planned to be president of the Democratic Initiatives Foundation,” he said, “but here we are, 10 years later.”
            Glasses clinked right and left although no one had actually made a toast yet. That honor went to Les, a playwright and a deputy since before Ukraine even became independent. Les is one of the people who helped the Foundation get going. A fine, square-jawed lad from Kyivska oblast who’s real name is Leonid, oddly enough. (Usually Les is short for Oles, which is less short for Oleksandr in Ukrainian. Sasha is the Russian variant.)
            “DI was formed after the honeymoon of achieving independence was over in Ukraine,” said Les, raising his glass. “Its initiatives have been both democratic and…interesting. Here’s the first toast!”
            Les later introduced me to Serhiy, one of the first people EE worked with, too, back in 1994 – before my time – when he began to operate a small news agency called UNIAR. Serhiy’s drifted on to bigger and better things since then.
            The head of SOCIS Ukraine, Gallup’s partner, presented Ilko with a handsome wall clock and kidded him that things at Democratic Initiatives always run on time. “Even if we do the polling and surveys together,” he said. “the initiative is really always from DI.”
            Bouncing in the door came Mykola, a man with a plan, if I ever saw one. “I love you guys, I think you’re great,” he told Yevhen from the Committee of Voters of Ukraine. “But my committee’s upset with what’s going on with the press in the regions. We’re ready tackle this with any other organization that’s ready to deal with press freedom issues in the oblasts.”
            “No politics, Kolya, this is a PARTY!” said someone, pressing a shot glass into his hand.
            “Yeah, yeah. I’m only going to do 25 grams tonight anyway. I’ve gotta play tennis tomorrow morning.”
            “Tennis?” Outside, it was getting mighty cold and I couldn’t imagine any indoor courts being particularly well heated.
            “Yeah, we’ve got a tournament going among the deputies… just a friendly thing.”
            Just then a bubbly brunette with orange streaks in her hair came up. Inna runs the Europe XXI Foundation, another NGO. Somebody had hauled out a camera, and soon a bunch of partygoers gathered around to pose. Inna towered a head taller than Mykola. I thought they looked kinda cute.
            Liubko, one of those diehard Canadians working on a UN clean-up project, was getting into the band, glass in hand. The boys were playing some rock ’n’ roll classics. “You know, this country has great talent,” he said to me, “particularly the musicians.” He was right. The guys even had the accents down, and all the nuances.
            Somebody’s girlfriend wandered over, another Canadian.
            “They really don’t have much of a vegetarian culture here,” she complained, looking at a sea of canapés with smothered in kovbasa, salo and liver paté.
            Personally, I wasn’t having too hard a time of it. I rather liked the paté.
            “But it’s getting better,” said Liubko, consolingly. “And there’s definitely a drinking culture,” he said sweeping his hand at a table-full of Nemiroff, champagnske and wine bottles.
            “You know?” Ksenia piped in, who freelances as a translator, “I was in the Karpaty with some Scottish friends this summer, both of them vegetarians, and we all went out for dinner with a bunch of the locals I know. Afterwards, Rachel said she was amazed that no one at the table had ordered a single meat dish the entire evening.”
            “You’re kidding! What did they order?”
            “Well, we had borscht, salads, varenyky, banosh, and a bunch of different mushroom dishes,” said Ksenia. “I have to admit, I didn’t even notice it until Rachel pointed it out.”
            About an hour later, I noticed Mykola doing his fifth 25 grams with yet another partier… He was definitely unwinding, and I had the feeling his game would be pretty loose the next morning.
            Just then Vlad from the Freedom of Choice Coalition came by and Inna offered him a drink. “Naah, just give me a juice. Advent’s already started.” Everybody rolled their eyes and Inna got him the juice.
            That was my cue to go home before I was too soused to find my way. Happy Birthday, DI! •

RC#65: "And the greatest of these is charity"


published in Eastern Economist #460, November 28, 2002
Ellis Island is more of a tourist drop these days, standing at times in the shadow of the Statue of Liberty. The hope that this island port-of-entry offered cannot be underestimated. Despite the many humiliations, ranging from misspelled or just plain wrong names, to intimidation, suspicion, and even de-lousing, crossing its threshold meant that the exhausted wanderer had reached a new home.
            Canada never had a point of entry that captured the imagination of immigrants and citizens the world over. But those who landed on its shores, mostly in Halifax after World War II, breathed the same sigh of relief.
            I’ve seen many photos of families at Ellis Island. The immigrants of the late 1800’s: startled-looking Ukrainian girls in their village costumes standing in a row while someone takes their picture. Possibly for the first time in their lives. The men stand behind them, scowling in flat dark hats. Pre-World War I, between the wars, and the final huge wave, after WWII.
            There weren’t any more costumes in this last immigration. The picture I’m looking at right now was taken in the winter of 1950. The father stands, hands behind his back, in heavy overcoat, fedora and whiskers. He’s a little disgruntled-looking, possibly over the baggage-style tag pinned to his lapel. Possibly just because he’s tired and scared, wondering if he’ll be able to work as a doctor in this new country. He looks about 45.
            His wife, a pretty brunette in a good fur coat and 1948 vintage hat, has her hands up her sleeves. It looks cold. Still, she’s smiling –the only one in the picture smiling, as it happens– her Slavic cheeks prominent in the tiny black-and-white picture. There’s a tag pinned to her coat as well.
            In front of them stand two dark-haired girls, aged about five and two. The older one is holding a doll with a 1920’s bob, staring at the camera suspiciously. She’s wearing a long coat. The younger one is standing akimbo in a fluffy spotted coat, leaning on a pile of luggage.
            Both look a little wary. Maybe even cranky. Their lapels also sport big white baggage tags.
            The pile of belongings is modest, when you realize it’s this family’s entire worldly goods. Four leather satchels bursting to the gills, every sidepocket bulging. But how much can you put into a satchel, after all? A towel? a pair of shoes? some favorite books? They couldn’t even have fit a collapsible baby buggy into the large white box standing under the satchels. In front of the box is a leather case with the one possession of value: a bandura.
            In the background are dozens of other people in overcoats, with briefcases and valises standing beside them. There are no peasants in this picture, no starving toddlers, no third-world people. These are Europeans fleeing the aftermath of a European war.
            There were some very critical differences between this picture and these people, and most of the previous waves of immigrants.
            These were mostly already displaced people. They had lost their homes, their possessions, and often their native lands during the war. Many had wandered over hell’s frontiers for three or four years, hungry, brutalized, often in mortal fear. Families were separated over and over again. They never knew until they actually saw each other again through some miracle, months later, if that wasn’t the last good-bye.
            A wife might have given birth to her first baby in one place while her husband worked hundreds of miles away, close to enemy lines, as a night watchman in a tobacco plant. While there were enemies on all fronts, there were also friends in unexpected places. Over and over again, against a backdrop of unspeakable inhumanity, people were saved by the individual bonds with individual people that transcend nationality, religion and politics.
            When the cannons stopped firing, those who were unlucky found themselves taken by soviet troops. Most of them were sent to Siberia. At least they weren’t shot, like the prisoners of war.
            Those who were lucky found themselves in an Allied sector. They were collected into shanty towns called DP camps. They weren’t prisoners, they weren’t refugees. They were simply “displaced persons.”
            In these camps, which were organized territorially, people were sometimes reunited with friends and relatives. Others met for the first time and fell in love. They married and had babies. Life slowly got back to normal. Except it wasn’t.
            The country they were staying in had been devastated. Most of the cities had been mercilessly shelled by either retreating or advancing troops. Unemployment was massive. This country could not absorb them all.
            The DPs were still displaced. Slowly a new migration began. Some went Down Under, some to Britain. Many hundreds of thousands went to Ellis Island, to the land of the free and the home of the brave. Many other hundreds of thousands went to the True North, strong and free.
            There was another difference between these immigrants and earlier waves. They were mostly well-educated. Teachers, doctors, engineers. They had skills. Many even had languages. In fact, there was a special name given to them by other groups of immigrants: the intelligentsia.
            Some were able to keep working in their professions. Many more ended up as night watchmen and cleaning ladies because they didn’t know the language.
            The war took its toll in other ways, too. The man in this picture, for instance, was barely 35. Most of that generation looked 10 years older than they were. But they didn’t mind. They had found freedom.
            Three things had kept them going.
            Faith that there was a place for them in a war-torn world. Hope that they would make it there somehow. And the charity of the New World in opening its doors so generously to them. •

RC#64: “First we kill all the lawyers”

published in Eastern Economist #458, November 12, 2002

This is a famous line from a Shakespearean play. I even know a few lawyers, most of them in Washington, who wear nifty T-shirts with this written on them.
            In Ukraine, though, I can only pity them. No one need kill lawyers here. The system is doing it for them.
            The other day, I was talking to a friend who happens to be a lawyer. He said, “When I taught law back in 1992-3, I remember asking my students, which they were planning to do. To get a government job, or to get a job in private business. All but two raised their hands for private business.”
            A couple of years ago, he went back into teaching. “When I asked my students the same question, all but two raised their hands for the government job. ‘What’s happened,’ I asked them? Nobody said anything. Then finally one guy, a kind of insolent dude, drawled: “Well, you know… corruption is eternal.”
            This brought to mind the story another lawyer friend told me a not long ago. We were talking about the difficulty of doing things legally here and she began to tell me the story of her first experience practicing law.
            “When I first started as a lawyer, I had a job with one of the ministries. I had a lot to learn, and it wasn’t long before I got my first taste.
            “Our office had received a skarha, a formal complaint from an accountant that her director had violated a number of regulations. The letter detailed the violations and they were pretty serious.
            “My boss called me in and said, ‘I want you to go down to Uman and look into these accusations. Do you understand your task?’ ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘I have to go through all their operations and check whether what the accountant says is true.’ ‘Go for it,’ said my boss.
            “So I went down to Uman and began investigating. Sure enough, I found evidence that every one of the accountants accusations were true. This was my first real assignment, so I was careful to note every detail of the evidence in my report. I went back to Kyiv feeling happy that I had done my job properly.
            “The next morning, my boss called me in. ‘This is your report on the Uman office?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘I see that you found evidence that the director did all these things that the accountant claimed.’ ‘Yes,’ I said, feeling pleased with myself.
            “‘But what about this?” asked my boss. He proceeded to describe an illegal transaction not mentioned in the complaint. ‘Are you sure this director didn’t also do this?’ ‘Well, no, I’m not.’ ‘Then go back there and investigate a little more.’
            “So I took the train back to Uman and began digging around some more. Sure enough, the director had done these things as well. I put together a new report and brought it into my boss, feeling even more pleased with myself.
            “‘So you discovered that he did that as well?’ ‘Yes, he did.’ ‘But what about this?’ (My boss described another illegal operation.) ‘Did you not check into whether he might have done this as well?’ ‘No, I didn’t.’ ‘Well, what are you waiting for? Get down there and look into it.’
            “Feeling a little surprised, I went down to Uman again. Sure enough, there was plenty of evidence that the director had done this illegal operation. How did my boss know about all this wrongdoing? I gathered together all the evidence, put it into a thoroughly damning report and presented it.
            “‘Fine, you got even more evidence of wrongdoing. But did you consider that he’s probably done this as well?’ (My boss described yet another misdemeanor.) ‘What do we pay you for? Get down there and find out.’
            “Feeling a little put out, I went down to Uman a fourth time. Sure enough, there was plenty of evidence pinning even more misdeeds on the director. I gathered together all the evidence, put it minute detail in a ten-page report and presented it to my boss.
            “‘So you got evidence of that as well. But he’s probably done this as well.’ (My boss described yet another violation.) ‘Look, you don’t seem to be thinking much. This time, you’re going to have to pay your own travel expenses.’
            “Sitting in a barren hotel room in Uman, I got to thinking. What was really going on? At last, it began to dawn on me. I did my research, then I went back to Kyiv and wrote up a bland little report saying not much of anything.
            “The next day my boss called me in. He was smiling. ‘Now I see you understand your job. Let me tell you one thing, young lady. Everybody breaks the law, every day. That’s just the way it is. But if you toe the line, nobody cares. When you step out of line, that’s when someone’s going to use it against you.'
            “I waited, sensing there was more to come. 'Now, when someone complains formally, like this accountant, it usually means they know what’s been going on and they’re doing it themselves. So, go down there and investigate the accountant.'
            “I soon found out that the accountant was renovating her house, using thousands of hryvnia of building materials and so on. On a salary of about 400 hryvnia a month. When I started asking her about that, she understood she had lost. She withdrew her complaint.”
            And that’s how it is in Ukraine. God have mercy on the lawyers. •

RC#63: Good news/Bad news


published in Eastern Economist #457, November 5, 2002
The last few weeks have been tough. In Ukraine, the president is doing battle with some tapes that make a crook out of him. The US has cut aid to Ukraine by US $50mn because of this. A US congressman has asked President Bush not to meet with Mr. Kuchma. NATO has downgraded its summit in Prague so as not to consort with him.
            An appeals court judge accepted statements pertaining to Mr. Kuchma and submitted a request for a criminal investigation against him. A retiring Supreme Court Chief Justice admitted that there was regularly “telephone pressure” from upstairs to favor certain decisions.
            Meanwhile, the Speaker revealed that the Tax Administration and Interior Ministry have been using “charitable funds” to subsidize their budgets to the tune of between 80 and a couple of hundred million hryvnia. Apparently this is where taxpayers and others are “encouraged” to contribute if they want certain things done – or not done, as the case may be.
            Two men were arrested out of the blue. One a lawyer who defended people Mr. Kuchma doesn’t seem to like. The other, a former partner of his Chief-of-Staff’s best buddy. Both men were released soon after, without much explanation. The five cops who arrested the businessman are being investigated.
            The legislature is in gridlock because the forced majority just won’t stay put. Some deputies who were friends of the arrested former partner walked this week, spoiling the quorum.
            The Verkhovna Rada failed to pass a money-laundering bill. Opposition members who boycotted the vote say there are too many loopholes.
            What do all these developments have in common? They all have to do with democratic process and rule of law.
            And they all mean good news for Ukraine.
            Take Mr. Kuchma’s problem with the tapes. He’s been caught red-handed talking about selling weapons to an off-limits country that he agreed not to deal with just months before the conversation was taped, back in summer 2000. His foreign minister tried to pooh-pooh the whole affair by saying, “So what, nothing was actually sold.” No one was impressed. That’s good news.
            Unlike the original tape scandal, there’s been little effort on the part of Mr. Kuchma’s administration to deny that the tapes contain a conversation that really took place. That’s definitely good news.
            The conversation did not seem to involve security service, law enforcement, administration, legislative or judiciary officials. It was between Mr. Kuchma and his arms trader. A man who found himself DOA after a strange car accident just as rumors began to surface in March. That’s definitely very bad news. But it seems that this was a private affair, not a state decision. That’s excellent news. For Ukraine, if not for Mr. Kuchma.
            US experts say the tape is authentic and cut the aid. But they sent an investigative team over anyway. That’s also good news for Ukraine. It’s called due process.
            The two whistle-blowing judges, given the condition of the judiciary in Ukraine, deserve medals. They both have high-profile positions and they decided to take a stance. That is great news. Maybe more judges will take a stance and maybe Ukraine’s judiciary will become a little more independent of political pressure.
            The congressman and NATO are saying, “Mr. Kuchma, you can’t mix it up. Either govern properly and above-board, or you don’t deserve your position as head-of-state.” Isn’t that good news? The pressure is for the right reasons – not to humiliate Ukraine or to protect vested interests.
            Everybody assumed Speaker Lytvyn was bought and sold by the president. It ain’t necessarily so. He seems to be taking his job as Speaker fairly seriously. And decided that his position requires some amount of accountability and responsibility towards more than just his own petty ambitions. Ukraine should have a few more of those in elected office. That’s good news for sure.
            There was a lot of brouhaha about the two arrests, which happened within 12 hours of each other. The fact is that reaction to both arrests was swift and condemning. And they were both swiftly released. Not that long ago, one or the other – or both men – might just have wound up dead somehow. This time, the people who ordered the arrests are on the defensive. The cops are being held to account, too. How’s that for good news?
            Whatever fair and unfair means have been used to kludge together the legislature’s majority, it isn’t working. The truth is, the country needs party politics, and that’s going to take time. Meanwhile, threats, bribes and whatever is not enough to get deputies to work together. The bad news is that it’s gridlocking the VR. The good news is, people are going to have to start thinking in terms of parties. Real parties, like the Communists and the Socialists. We may not like or agree with what they stand for, but we at least know what it is. What does NDP stand for, other than No Damned Platform? Or SDPU(o) – Some Dangerous Political Underworld (off limits)? Even Nasha Ukraina has no platform. It’s the Yushchenko support bloc, which is all fine and dandy. But that doesn’t make it a political party.
            The bad news about the stonewalling is that the FATF could blacklist Ukraine after Dec. 15. The good news is, the opposition is probably completely right. The bill that was presented has loopholes and they have to be closed up. It should go back to committee. That’s democratic process. That’s also rule of law. I don’t know about the rest of the world, but Ukraine’s had a good week. •

RC#62: Nostalgia lane


published in Eastern Economist #453, October 8, 2002
This column is only for those who have spent at least 10 years in the region. The rest of you will only feel disoriented as you wind through this strange excursion.
            The other day, my cleaning lady brought over a ‘dozen’ eggs. I say ‘dozen’ although, in fact, everything here is metric, so eggs come in sets of 10, not 12.
            Ever since I came here, the standard way to buy eggs in Ukraine has been to tell the saleslady (believe it or not, in all these years, I haven’t ever seen a man selling behind the counter in a grocery store) how much you want. She then counted them and carefully packed them, one by one.
            Used to be that she would make a cone of stiff paper and carefully place the 10 eggs in there, then fold over the top, so they didn’t fall out. You then had to carefully place this paper cone with 10 fresh eggs somewhere safe among your groceries. More often than not, you got home to find one egg cracked and leaking.
            When plastic bags became fairly common, the ladies started packing eggs in small-sized transparent bags and tying them up. You still had to place them very gingerly on top of all your other groceries and pray nothing smooshed them before you got home.
            Yes, you could buy eggs in carton. You just had to buy 30 or 40 and then they were literally sandwiched between two flats and tied with string. The only manufactured “egg purses” – hard plastic egg cartons complete with snaps and handles – were generally for 5x6 eggs. 30-40 was enough to last me three-four months, so I never used the cumbersome thing.
            This time, my eggs were in a carton. Not a 5x6 monster, not two carton layers wrapped in string. A nice factory-made carton. Not paper or polystyrene. It was a light plastic, transparent egg carton with a colorful professional label. It even snapped shut neatly. Reusable. Moreover, each egg was quality stamped.
            It got me to thinking of the things that have changed most radically. (Remember, this is nostalgia time. No politics.)
            Packaging is a big one.
            Gone, for the most part, are the soviet one-style-suits-all jars with the separate plastic lids that also came in two standard sizes that would fit anything from a 250 ml jar to a 5-liter one. The good thing about these jars was that they were recycled.
            Gone, mostly, too, are the metal lids that had to be pried off very, very carefully, then tossed and replaced by the standard plastic ones.
            Service is another.
            The first time I drove around Kyiv, back in 1992, it was like being in a low-grade spy movie just to get gasoline. Les, the man who was showing me around, would drive along some main road until he saw a few men lingering around a battered-looking truck. He’d then jump out, grab a jerrycan and go over to them. They’d negotiate a little, gesturing at the car and at the truck.
            Sometimes there’d just be a chorus of shrugs and he would come back, disgruntled. Other times, a wad of bills would cross hands and he’d come back with five or ten liters of gas for the car.
            “Don’t you have any gas stations here?” I asked him.
            “Not any more. They’re all shut down. Deficit.”
            Les was also very cagey about just how he knew where to get gas and how he determined a fair price.
            Later, when I started living in Kyiv, I noticed that there really wasn’t anything resembling gas stations, operating or abandoned. Occasionally, you could see a shack with one or two WWII-issue pumps nearby.
            About four years ago, it all started to change. First one station, then two. Then, about two years ago, a dozen chains with unfamiliar names (other than BP out by Boryspil) began sprouting gas stations across the country like mushrooms after the rain.
            Now you can whizz into a spiffy hi-tech, white-tiled gas station, have a coffee while a guy in uniform fills your tank, and sometimes even pay for it all on a credit card. It’s almost too easy, really. Takes the adventure out of travelling in Ukraine, if you ask me.
            Vocabulary has changed, too.
            The word “deficit,” meaning shortage, was probably the most popular word in Ukraine in the early and mid-nineties. That’s because the soviet system had its own “peculiarities.” (Another popular word that was essentially an excuse to do things your own way no matter what the rest of the world thought or said. The great conscience-salving term of all times.)
            The “peculiarity” of selling was that everything went to the saleslady’s buddies, relatives, in-laws and so on, first. Only then (if there was really no other option, such as shutting down for technical breaks, lunch or inventorization or chit-chatting with your fellow saleslady, your back implacably towards the counter and any customers, for 40 minutes) to customers off the street. That meant that mostly everything was “in deficit” most of the time.
            Supermarkets have taken care of that, much like the spiffy gas stations.
            “Chornobyl” also cropped up in conversation, as predictably as the word “can’t.” As in, “My kid has a sore throat and can’t go to school. It’s Chornobyl.” Or, “I can’t figure out how to do this math problem. Must be Chornobyl.”
            In the last few years, even before the 3rd block was shut down in 2000, the word “Chornobyl” seems to have disappeared from the vocabulary of most people. Children no longer look so sallow. They even seem to like going to school. And adults no longer bellyache about their health from dawn till dusk.
            Maybe in another 10 years, Ukrainians will also look back on all this with simple nostalgia… •

RC#61: The Kolchuga capers


published in Eastern Economist #452, October 1, 2002
I was supposed to be away on vacation for another week, but the situation in the country is getting out of hand. Apparently, the US has decided that the voice Maj. Mykola Melnychenko has on tape in at least one fairly compromising conversation does belong to Ukraine’s president, Leonid Kuchma. It’s about time.
            This charade has been going on for nearly two years now, ever since November 2000, when Socialist leader Oleksandr Moroz first blew the story open in Ukraine’s legislature.
            When the tapes first started circulating in Ukraine, there was no doubt in most people’s minds that it was, for better or for worse, the voice of their president. The man whom, just a year earlier, they had re-elected after a fairly questionable campaign that left him and the Communist Party leader as the only two in a run-off.
            The conversations published then were between Leonid Kuchma and Leonid Derkach, the head of the Secret Service, and Yuriy Kravchenko, the chief of police. They resembled mostly backroom chat among officials airing their private beefs about the media and other matters that beleaguered top officials are wont to complain about.
            At the time, the first thing everybody commented on was the foulness of Mr. Kuchma’s language. It wasn’t just locker-room talk. It was the language of a person who did not seem to be able to say more than three words in a row without one of them being foul. Worse, he showed little imagination even in his foulness, using the same four-letter word over and over – one that is most commonly associated with the language of teenage boys.
            The second thing was the content. The tapes came in the wake of the disappearance of an obscure but pesky journalist, Georgiy Gongadze, and the discovery of a dead body near Kyiv. On the tape, Mr. Kuchma was heard making some suggestions for getting rid of the nuisancy journalist by “dropping him down among the Chechens in his gaunchies.”
            Admittedly, that might have been highly uncomfortable, possibly embarrassing, for Gongadze. But nothing more “serious” was revealed in the conversations that have so far been publicized. The steps from there to a headless corpse in Tarashcha are certainly not obvious from the taped conversations aired to date.
            Yes, Ukraine’s president came off as somewhat less brilliant than a rocket scientist and less well-bred than Emily Post. But there are any number of heads of state that could be described in equally unflattering terms.
            But this newest transcription is different. It does not reveal a conversation between a Head of State and a high government official.
            It reveals a conversation between a mafia don and one of his underlings. There is no other way to describe the content of such a conversation. Here’s what happens if you change the names:

Larry:     There’s a request for a special operation. Our Jordanian contact says Mohammed wants four Kolchugas. He’s offering a hundred million bucks cash.
Lenny:    What’s a f'n Kolchuga?

Larry:     It’s a passive anti-aircraft radar, boss. Keeps enemy MiGs off yer turf.
Lenny:    Who the f-k makes it?

Larry:     Topaz, Tommy’s crowd. Four of them makes a set, and it goes for a hundred million.
Lenny:    Can you sell it without the f'n Jordanian?

Larry:     Sure, boss. I suggest we get Billy to take care of it. Look at system we have to ship stuff from here to Iraq. The Kolchuga sits on a KrAZ anyway, so we crate them along with a bunch of KrAZ’s, that’s all. What’s going to give away that they’re Kolchugas and not just a lot of KrAZs like we usually ship. So a couple of our boys go along for the ride with fake passports to install and deploy it.
Lenny:    Make sure the f'n Jordanian doesn’t blab. Those f-kers'll be keeping an eye on the shipment.

Larry:     Who’ll be keeping an eye on it? We’re not selling them anything new, the Jordies, I mean. But don’t worry, we’ll be careful.
Lenny:   OK. Go ahead.

Larry:     Roger. Thanks.

This was in July. Nine months later, in late February, Der Spiegel, a major German weekly, finds a link to Iraq. Two firms in the city of Mannheim are suspected of being involved in illegal arms export to Iraq and of violating the UN trade embargo against this country. Their operations are being handled out through another small company in Germany which had connections leading to Britain, Switzerland – and Lenny’s home town.
            Soon, the FBI will start sniffing at Lenny’s door. Barely a week after this story hits the papers, Larry shows up dead in a car crash. In broad daylight. In the car with him was an underling who claims he fell asleep at the wheel. In broad daylight.
            Now, put the right names back into the story. •

RC#60: Still waters run


published in Eastern Economist #448, September 3, 2002
On Thursday last, Aug. 29, a controversy over building sites was raised again with the city’s chief architect, Serhiy Babushkin. Despite his impressive credentials, Mr. Babushkin is not a man known for his subtlety and tact.
            Towards the end of May, a talk show on Studio 1+1 focused on the reconstruction of Maidan Nezalezhnosti. Mr. Babushkin and the Maidan architect, Oleksandr Komarovskiy, presented their distinct viewpoint on the merits of the results [see RC#46]. Their viewpoint differed radically from that of almost all the other professional guests on the program – and the studio audience.
            It also differs radically from the opinion of almost any resident of Kyiv you might care to ask.
            Another project hit the headlines July 25, when Larysa Skoryk, a one-time minister of culture, organized a protest in front of City Hall. The protesters claimed that an underground multi-storied parking lot and fitness-center were being built too close to historic St. Sofia, at provulok Rylskoho 5.
            Now St. Sofia really is a very special place. It was built in the 11th century, in imitation of Constantinople’s Great Sofia. In modern-day Istanbul, the Hagia Sofia is a Muslim sacred place. So Kyiv’s St. Sofia remains a unique reflection of Byzantine Christian glory.
            The church itself is part of a monastery complex and includes many golden-domed towers, the tallest of which is the bellfry on Sofiïvska Ploshcha. Inside the church itself are wonderful frescoes, mosaics and hand-painted walls, pillars and naves.
            The protesters claimed that new construction was causing water to accumulate underneath St. Sofia. They said that the belfry was beginning to tilt and cracks had appeared in several walls.
            On vacation in Foros in Crimea when he heard of the demonstration, President Kuchma gave instructions to halt construction around the cathedral and called for a review of the situation. “Any construction around historical sites and monuments needs to have government approval,” he said.
            Projects around Sofiïvska Ploshcha include a nearly-finished Inter-Continental Hotel across the square and an underground parking lot and fitness center connected to Sofiïvska Brama, a renovated luxury apartment complex right next to Sofia’s walls.
            On July 29, the head of the State Construction Office, Valeriy Cherep, said his office would do its best to resolve the controversy.
            At a meeting with Vice Premier Volodymyr Semynozhenko, a decision was taken Aug. 9 to suspend construction of the fitness center. At the same time, the Kyiv Prosecutor’s Office launched a criminal case against officials at the Kyiv Administration for allowing anyone to build near the historic site, and against the builder “for destroying historical and cultural monuments.” Among those accused of ruining Sofia is the Office of the Chief Architect of Kyiv.
            Of course, August is holiday month in Ukraine, so nothing much happened for nearly three weeks.
            On Aug. 29, the Chief Architect himself reacted.
            “I’m confident that building a fitness center under the walls of St. Sofia has not damaged the historical site,” Mr. Babushkin told reporters. “The pit was dug more than a year ago and pylons were put into the ground to shore up the walls.”
            The city’s architect says it’s more likely that the creaking water and sewage systems that were laid in the cathedral complex some 50 year ago are the root of any damage. They’ve been seeping into the soil under Sofia’s foundations. For good measure, Mr. Babushkin added, “They’re also reconstructing the public toilets without a permit and they’ve already damaged a gas line.”
            “We did all the necessary studies before starting,” says the center’s architect, Valeriy Rubshtein. “If the owner decides to cancel the fitness center, that’s his decision. It’s his money.”
            What’s more, according to Mr. Babushkin, the builder transferred Hr 318,000 to the monastery to restore its ramparts and another Hr 50,000 as a ‘charitable donation’.
            But he was careful to put any blame squarely with DerzhBud, the state construction corporation. “This project was reviewed two times at DerzhBud meetings and it was approved as a full-scale reconstruction,” he said. “They’re the ones who signed the go-ahead to build right near the monastery’s ramparts.”
            Of course, DerzhBud doesn’t accept any blame for the situation, either. According to Vasyl Prysiazhniuk, its deputy director, the special commission found that construction went ahead in violation of city building codes. There was no permit for a fitness center with swimming pool, nor was there permission from City Council to use the land.
            I decided to ask a Western developer about all these issues.
            “Groundwaters have plagued downtown Kyiv for decades,” he says. “This is the main reason why so many projects along Yaroslaviv Val and other streets, up to and including Volodymyrska, have ongoing problems. One city architect told us that the Lybid River, which used to run through the area, was blocked off during Soviet times and the resulting underground waters are causing havoc with some streets and buildings.”
            In fact, this summer, Antonovycha and Velyka Vasylkivska streets [Gorkoho and Chervonoarmiyska] were torn up to create new channels for the ancient river to flow into.
            “Surely, as the city’s architect, Mr. Babushkin should be aware of the situation,” says the developer. “But officials at City Hall seem more concerned with making money and with the outward appearance of the main streets, than with problems underground. Until a major disaster occurs, no one is likely address them.”
            “What’s dangerous is leaving things as they are,” says Mr. Babushkin. “These [fitness center] people can go ahead and build. I give my word. A few years ago, there were only dogs and bums around here. Instead of lawsuits, somebody ought to give these folks a medal. Why not jail those who don’t do anything? Why make a federal case?”
            As to dogs and bums, the airlines and fancy jewellers who had their offices in the original building on Rylskoho 5 might have a different point of view. Like I said, this guy ain’t subtle. •

Monday, September 10, 2012

RC#59: Byways and Highways, Part 3

published in Eastern Economist #446, August 20, 2002

Summer weather may have turned sour, but lots of people are still looking for vacation tips. A couple of weeks ago, I started this story about travelling Ukraine in a car. Everything was fine until my engine stopped on the Zhytomyr bypass at two-thirty in the morning.
            None of our Kyiv friends with cars were able to come out [see RC#58]. A tow to Kyiv was going to cost at least Hr 620, nearly $120 – without even starting on repairs. I passed on the offer. Serhiy, the manager of a café where we managed to find shelter and a telephone, agreed.
            “You’d be better off getting the car into Zhytomyr and repairing it there,” he said reasonably. “It won’t cost so much.” He was right, of course. The question was, how? So far, not a single car or truck had stopped to help. Another hour went by. The coffee and tea got colder.
            Just then, we heard a knock at the door. A heavyset man in a dark suit opened the door.
            “Pryvit, Serhiy,” he said.
            I paid no attention to their conversation as I sipped my coagulated coffee.
            “You folks need a little tow?” the man suddenly asked. Serhiy’s morning visitor just happened to manage an CTO, a state car repair shop, in Zhytomyr.
            “I’m heading in right now. I’ll get the boys to come out with a tow.”
            What luck! We thanked Serhiy profusely, paid him for our breakfast, and gathered up our belongings.
            Twenty minutes later, a smallish man in a white Neva pulled up. He hooked up our car with a rope and explained:
            “Steer the car behind me and keep the rope taut.”
            We wound our way down potholed back streets. A couple of times, I got the tension wrong. We ran over the rope, stopped, rolled back. Finally, we reached the CTO.
            “Nah, we don’t do imports. Not engine jobs,” said a guy in greasy overalls. “Not our area.” My heart sank. “But you can try the import place down on the main drag. They do Daewoos for sure.”
            Off we went again. Five minutes later, we turned into the import shop. I went up to the window with the CTO driver.
            “No, we can’t do a Daewoo right now. Our mechanic’s busy,” said an unhelpful man with whiskers behind the request window. “Maybe tomorrow.”
            The CTO guy shrugged his shoulders. He’d done what he could. I paid him his Hr 40 and walked back to my car.
            “Hello, hello?” A young man in a burgundy shirt and navy tie ran up to me. “You have a car that’s broken down?”
            “I think I blew my engine.”
            “And they wouldn’t take you?” he asked incredulously. “Hold on a sec. Let me see what’s going on.”
            I followed him back to the window.
            “What do you mean, ‘Ihor’s working on a Lada.’ We do Daewoos. That’s our business!”
            The young man waved me to follow him through the shop to a back room where engines were rebuilt. There, a sulky young man was carefully taking apart a motor.
            “Ihor, I want you to look at what’s going on with this Daewoo. You can do the Lada later.” He turned to me. “Here’s my mobile number just in case. I’ll be back around five.”
            Ihor reluctantly followed me back to our car. Lifted the hood. Tinkered around. I watched him carefully undo some tubes and connectors.
            “Your water pump’s seized.” He went back to work.
            The water pump? This was the best news I’d heard yet. It couldn’t be a tenth as expensive as a rebuilt engine.
            “How long will it take?” I asked.
            “Not long. You have to get a pump and a belt. I don’t know what we have in stock.”
            Neither, as it turned out. Half an hour later, we were in Ihor’s car driving around Zhytomyr picking up parts. The pump was no problem. The very first store had it. Just looked it up in their catalog, found it on the shelf, and wrote up a bill. Hr 195. That was a darn sight better than the Hr 500 the shop had quoted.
            The belt was another matter. We tried four car parts places. One even offered to order it for the next morning. I passed.
            We drove back to the shop. I went to the accountant to pay Hr 78 for the repair work. “Isn’t there anything we can do to get a belt today?” I asked her.
            “Well, some of our boys are driving back a couple of new cars from Kyiv today. Maybe they can pick up the belt for you.” Several phone calls later, she smiled at me. “I’ve left them the order. They’re due here by five-thirty or six.”
            Ihor had gone back to the Lada engine. Time dripped by. At five o’clock, he informed me that his day was over. I ran to the accountant and said, “Can’t you just ask him to stay on and let him come in later tomorrow?” I pleaded. “We can’t stay overnight for this!”
            Oddly enough, the accountant had the power to do just that. So Ihor went off happily to work on his own car, while we waited for the crew to arrive from Kyiv with our belt.
            Around seven-thirty, the boys finally rolled in. I grabbed the belt and went to the shop to pay for it. Hr 84.
            In less than an hour, Ihor had the pump installed and the belt on. I was so happy to be going home, I gave him a Hr 25 tip.
            Total cost for the whole mess, tip and tow included? Hr 412. About two thirds the cost of a tow to Kyiv…
            I told you this story had a happy ending. Now get out there and drive around Ukraine a little! •
–from the ramblin’ notes of Pan O.

RC#58: Byways and Highways, Part 2

published in Eastern Economist #445, August 13, 2002
Summer weather is still going to be around for a while, so last week I began a story of travelling Ukrainian roads in a car. The trip started out with some good luck. A garage in L’viv had rotated my tires and found a bad tire that was now safely in the spare wheel well. Best of all, the whole thing had cost me about six bucks. We drove away happy as larks and I was certain we were home free.
            Mile after mile, the car drove while the player blasted rock music. Rain came and went. Banks of fog drifted across the road. Night came on.
            The car was driving like a dream. But the gas was getting low and it was well past midnight. I could kick myself as one gas station after another turned out to be closed.
            We turned off onto the Zhytomyr bypass, just after 02:00. There was an open café with flashing lights. I pulled over to ask directions, but I didn’t bother to turn off the engine.
            That’s when I heard the loud, uneven knocking. Maybe it had just overheated and would cool down.
            I ran inside and asked the woman at the cash if there was an open gas station nearby. No.
            I ran back out. The engine was still making really bad noises. I had no idea what was going on. The last time the tape had switched off, we hadn’t heard a thing.
            I knew there was a huge 24-hour truck stop just the other side of Zhytomyr. Maybe the car would make it there, about 10 klicks away. We were only an hour and a half from Kyiv and I was counting on being home by 04:00. Now I was about to lose my engine.
            I pulled back out onto the road. The rattled knock continued.
            Sure enough, about two kilometers along, here was a loud ping and the engine stopped altogether.
            “The piston’s blown through the engine wall,” I said gloomily to my travelling companion. “Fifteen hundred bucks, I’ll bet,” I said, thinking about the cost of a rebuild back home. “And we’re nowhere near a repair shop.”
            I coasted the car as long as I could in the dark. It finally rolled to a stop at what looked like a truck turnout. It was now 02:30 in the morning.
            I put the blinkers on, lowered the headlights and hauled out the triangular emergency reflector that is mandatory equipment in Ukraine – thank god.
            There was still some traffic, particularly trucks, so I stuck my hand way out to flag someone down. I even tried waving my hands up and down like an idiot.
            It made no difference. Not a single car or truck stopped. One truck beep-beeped as it went by. Of course, the pesky highway police were home in their warm beds, not patroling the nation’s roadways.
            This was my worst nightmare come true. Like being stuck in the mountains of Idaho or the Ensenada highway in Mexico.
            After half an hour, I gave up. “I guess we’re sleeping in the car,” I told Nadia. “But I think we’re parked in the middle of an intersection, so we’d better move the car forward.”
            “No, we’re not. It’s paved here,” she responded.
            “I’m pretty sure it’s a crossroads and I don’t want some idiot piling into our side at high speed in the dark.”
            We got out and rolled the car a few meters forward. Then we turned the lights off and packed it in.
            I woke up to a grey morning. Five thirty. I looked around. Sure enough, we were on far the edge of a four-way paved intersection.
            There was a little traffic, so I decided to try flagging someone again. Now that there was light, maybe drivers would see that I had a newish import with yellow plates and would stop to help.
            Of course, the minute I opened the door, it started drizzling. After 15 minutes, a Neva jeep stopped. But it already had four people, so they couldn’t help much. “Thanks anyway,” I said.
            Around six o’clock, I decided to start calling some friends in Kyiv who had cars. The signal was very unreliable and I had a hard time getting through.
            Oleh had just turned his car over for repairs and was without wheels for two days.
            Oksana was on the outs with her husband and he refused to help.
            Vitaliy, a professional driver, refused to ask his boss, whom I knew, to let him take time off to drive out and help me.
            Worse, my battery was fading fast. I was getting more and more worried. We couldn’t even get into town because no one was stopping.
            Just then, a man and his two kids came out to pasture a few cows. Nadia offered to go and see if he would let us use his home phone. Twenty minutes later, she was back. “His phone can’t do Kyiv.” By now, it was seven and my cellphone was deader than a doornail.
            Across the road from us was a rundown café. Nadia went to check it out.
            Five minutes later, she was back. “The guy who runs it just got up. He said we can use his plug to juice up the phone.”
            We trudged over. It was small and very shabby, but it had a fireplace. I plugged in the phone and ordered some coffee and tea.
            Some more calls to Kyiv. Nadia’s friend gave her the number of a towing company. They quoted Hr 100 for the call and Hr 4 for every kilometer. That would add up to at least Hr 620, nearly $120 – without even starting on repairs.
            Now, this story does have a happy ending, so stay tuned. •
–from the extensive notes of Pan O.
Part 3 concludes the saga of travelling by car.